Friday, April 1, 2011

Maybe the World is Turning Me Around...

Korea is in so much more than just a country I lived in for one year. Its my second home, my love, my beautiful land. There are things I don't like about it, but at the same time there are times when I wish I could magically become Korean. Although I miss my family and my hometown, I know that I will miss Korea once I leave. I'm stuck in this bittersweet symphony, where I can't wait to go home and yet I can't bear to part with this place. Koreans are this amazing mix of overly studious, yet fun-loving, curious, honest and respectful, silly and serious people. When I left my home, I never thought that this year would change me. I became a serious adventurer, trekking across a foreign country armed with only my wit. I became one of the Korean people, invited into their home and hearth, a sister, a daughter, a granddaughter and friend. I eat like a Korean, I play like a Korean and relate to others like a Korean. Returning to a home where no one understands what I did or went through will be a difficult adjustment.

Tuesday, September 7, 2010

A Difference of Opinion

Funny how certain things or actions can be considered taboo in my culture yet totally acceptable in my culture. I remember when I was child I was absolutely forbbiden to remove my shoes in the church sanctuary. Yet here in Korea, it is required to remove your shoes at the threshold of the building. When I was a child and my mother would tell me the story of Daniel's friends, they would always tell us "We do not bow to anyone but God." I understand that bowing is part of the culture here in Korea, and I don't mind doing it but I still feel so uncomfortable when someone does it to me. Another things that surprises me and I have trouble relating to is the meal habits. There is only one way to eat certain food and you can't change the way that food is eaten. You can't take stuff out or add stuff in that's not included in the original dish. When Koreans sit down to eat (shoeless of course), one must eat in silence and quickly. There is no chatting about your day or savoring the food slowly (you don't like it anyways, because they don't let you change it) because that would be considered rude.
Grandparents are to be respected at a distance, never lovingly playing or hugging because that would be inappropriate. The notion of beauty is different in this culture as well. Big eyes and curly hair are valued where even children and men get their hair permed. However, as a society of hard workers and students, things that can be considered outward adornments are considered a distraction and are therefore forbidden. As a result, high schoolers are not allowed to have perms, or pierce their ears or even have long hair. These are all things that can distract a student, so they are not allowed.

They should adapt these measures in the US, huh?

Sunday, August 15, 2010

Changes...

This weekend was summer camp for the SDA Language Institute across South Korea. The place was supposed to be a resort, but I have to say, it was more like camping in really old cabins. Except that the cabins were stacked up one on top of the other into a really tall, really old building. I have to say, I've never camped in a building before.

I saw all my friends from my orientation group, whom around here grow to be your family, and I met some great new people. This retreat was exactly what I needed in my life. Did I need the horrible food or the oppressing humidity or the late nights and early mornings? No, not really, but I needed to talk to someone outside of my daily circle. On TV shows and movies, there's always a character who's life is their work and work their life. I always wondered how it got to the point where your work is it, it is your life. Now I understand. You socialize with the same people, you bring your work home with you (literally) and your whole life revolves around the same people day in and day out. I didn't understand the toll this was taking on my mental sanity until I got to camp this weekend and was able to talk to other foreigners. It was literally like someone had reached down into my soul and lifted this huge weight that had gradually been pressing me down. I realize why people say variety is the spice of life. It is also something I'll have to consider for the future when I'm thinking of what I want to do with my life.

Koreans eat rice, kimchee and soup for breakfast EVERYDAY. This is also what they served for breakfast at camp EVERYDAY. The food less than substandard, but the company was great. In talking to other people, I was able to see just how much I've changed from living in a foreign country and relying only on God for everything. I been practicing holding my tongue even when I feel there's something I really want to say. I've learned that unless people ask you, they really don't care. I've learned to be more assertive in what I need, want or believe in, regardless of the toes I step on. This by far has been the most challenging. I've learned that I used to be scandalous. Seriously so. I've since learned I don't like scandalous people and frankly, it's somewhat riddiculous. Outgoing, fun, lively and loud are things I don't mind to be, but I can never be scandalous ever again. It really just makes you look stupid and attention despreate. I learned that true beauty and intelligence is better highlighted in holding back than showing off. I've learned the secret to being the most popular boy's favorite girl. Not by being the sexiest or funniest or skinniest, but simply by showing that you care. I am a complicated person with emotions, opinions and philisophical ideas, but not everyone cares. I'm just looking to find those who care enough to pay attention. If they don't, maybe that's their loss.

Whew!! And I thought I was already mature...

Tuesday, August 3, 2010

Chopsticks. And not the Piano kind.

I am astonished and amazed at all the various uses for chopsticks and the things you can eat with them. To prove my point, I will now proceed to list the various foods or uses I have had or seen for chopsticks in Korea.
1. Eat rice with seaweed. I actually learned this with my American friends before I met any Koreans and had just arrived in Korea. You have to pick up the rice with the seaweed using the chopsticks in a very calculated way.

2. Feeding a baby. Who knew?

3. Eating spaghetti. When pasta was invented in Italy, I’m not sure what they used to eat it but I’m assuming it wasn’t chopsticks.

4. Eating cake. You really can’t just ask for a sliver.

5. Eating watermelon. In retrospect, this actually seems like a great idea. Just stab it and you’re good to go. However, it gives you second thoughts when the red juices run down your arms, making you feel like you’ve killed someone.

6. Making spaghetti. This was actually surprising and actually kinda difficult. In order to test the doneness of the pasta you actually have to fish it out with said utensils. Eating made spaghetti is also difficult and Kristina's least favorite chopstick food. I have found, however, there is a method to the madness.

7. Fried chicken. Yeah, I would have never imagined.

8. Separating pizza slices. Sort of what you’d use a table knife for.

9. Scrambled eggs. Yeah.

10. Pancakes. For this one I almost caved and used a spoon.

11. French fries. Why don’t you use your hands? I don’t know.

12. Holding your hair back as you wash dishes. Ok so this one is just me.

13. Splitting foods. Of course, in lieu of knives, which don’t exist in Korea.

14. Mixing food in a bowl. How do you accomplish this you may ask? Ahhh. Very carefully young grasshopper. Very carefully.

15. Picking the onions out of your food. Now this isn’t exclusive to chopsticks but it does offer an advantage over a fork because frankly, chopsticks are more precise. This has been most beneficial for me.

16. Steak. This one is difficult, but most of the time, steak and other big hunks of food come to Korean tables already chopstick friendly.

17. Pastries. Oddly, most of these in Korea are made of rice or barley.

18. Pizza!!! Believe it. It works

19. Ice Cream! Ok I’m kidding about this one. But I would not be surprised to find it to be true.

20. Doughnuts. This one is tried and true. My students brought me doughnuts and picked them out with chopsticks.
21. Brie and crackers. I didn’t have a knife so I did what any other Korean would have done. Improvised with chopsticks.

Friday, July 2, 2010

Anything you can do, I can do better...

People compliment me on my Korean pronunciation all the time. They say that Korean seems easier to me than to other missionaries. My secret? When I say something in Korean, I say it in Spanish. This is why my Korean turns out so good. I relate to the Koreans through my Spanish or Arabic culture, which I find helps me grow closer to them. There are other missionaries here, and they seem to have come to spread their culture and knowledge of the world. However, other than to teach them English and show them hope, I came more to learn from them. I want to know the inside of the Korean culture, the things you don't learn from a book. This why I pick up more Korean expressions and traditions than other missionaries. This is why they like to include me in their more intimate gatherings. If I've learned one thing about Koreans, it's that they're incredibly hard-workers, and unafraid of personal sacrifice to please, to impress, or to get ahead. This is why Korean women wear impossibly high heels, that may look beautiful but are painful. Once I saw a Korean woman's feet when she took off her heels. Her feet were red and calloused, and bruised. However, she will probably put her expensive heels back on and continue walking because it will give others a high opinion of her. This is why Koreans drink too much. They feel like they need to impress their boss, their friends, their family. Personal sacrifice is little to pay to gain the approval and admiration of everyone around them. This also plays in with the conformity of the Korean mind. They all have to strive to be better at the same thing. They would not dare to step out of the socially acceptable norm. To excel in something rare would be unthinkable. It is better to beat someone at the same thing everyone is doing. If a Korean man is going to get married to a beautiful woman, it has to be a beautiful Korean women. This is why foreigners rarely marry Koreans.

I've never been an extremely competitive person. Sometimes, being second or third or even last gets you to the same place as the first, just a bit later. Therefore, this cultural mindset is a bit strange to me. I keep encouraging my students that sometimes, it's ok to lose, or to be different if in the end, the prize is bigger. Even if they don't accept my words, I know they listen and one day will have to face a decision in their lives. I hope that on that day, they might remember me... The girl who couldn't conform to win.

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

Even Teachers Learn from Teaching

Funny how something so horrible and difficult can change when you take your time to change your attitude and thoughts.

I have a junior class at 5:40pm Monday through Thursday that I absolutely hated. The kids were rude and mean, they mocked and disobeyed me. I would come out of that classroom barely holding back the tears and praying that I wouldn't have to go back the next day. There were at least two boys in that class that were making my life a living hell. It didn't help that the Korean teacher would either ignore the kids making trouble or leave the classroom. I was miserable. Normally I'm really good with bad kids. However, the language and cultural barrier was throwing me way off.
Finally, one day the Korean teacher walked out almost as soon as I came in, leaving me with a classroom full of bad Korean kids. I looked down at my book and mumbled through the drills, trying to get through it as soon as possible. Then one of the kids, let's call him Lenny, started acting up. I snapped. I looked up at him and said "HEY. QUIT IT." He didn't understand what I said but he understood how I said it. He stayed still. The next day another one of the trouble makers; call him Max, wasn't putting effort into repetitions and adding endings to his words. I went and stood in front of his desk. I looked him in the eye and said, "If you add a single sound to the end of another English word, I will not hesitate to fail you." When he started to repeat the sentences, I realized what a smart kid he was and how well he spoke English.
I eventually realized that for a class so rebellious, regardless of culture I would have to revert back to my old tricks. And I did. In Korea, everyone, from the oldest person to the youngest child has their own cell phone. It's understood and expected to be that way. So I told this class that if they fail their next test I would have them call their parents and explain to said parent that they were calling because they had failed their English test because they were too lazy to study. My students understood I meant business. The next day, they all passed with 100%. It was the first time any of these kids had passed a test in this class.

Nowadays, this is my favorite class. They aren't better behaved. The Korean teacher still is no help. The textbook is still boring. But the kids know that I mean business but I can still joke around with them. They joke around with me about who's the worst behaved and who will be punished that day. Without their noticing it, their English is improving inspite of and maybe because of their behavior. I would love to take credit for this amazing change in situation and learning. But I really can't. God had to work on my heart and patience and teach me a lesson in understanding. I'm always complaining that no one understands me, but now I realize that no one is going to bother understanding me if I don't try to understand others first. Harsh lesson, God. Harsh lesson.

Thursday, June 10, 2010

I Sound Like I Know What I'm Talking About, Don't I?

Today my students took me out for a very expensive lunch and then traditional Korean tea afterwards. Over lunch they asked me why I had come to Korea. I really didn't think before answering and I found myself saying, "God sent me here." As I thought about it, I realize that it really was God leading me here for some reason. I shared with them some of my experiences from my first time in Korea and how scared and alone I felt. I know it takes alot of courage to go to a foreign land where you don't understand the language or even recognize the alaphabet. However, I had none. Nothing. Zip. Nada. Courage was not something I felt as I said goodbye to my family, or as I boarded the plane. Courage was not what I felt as I landed in Japan and made my flight connection. Courage was not in my mind when I walked out the airport doors dragging two suitcases with what was basically my life support for the next year behind me to find a stranger in the night rain. Courage maybe has not even caught up to me yet. Somedays that I'm here teaching, I realize, 'How am I doing this? I can't do this.' Maybe God is teaching for me. Maybe God is surviving through me and I'm a casual observer. So when I tell my class God sent me here, I'm seriously not kidding. Not only did He send me here, He's here with me.