Changes...

This weekend was summer camp for the SDA Language Institute across South Korea. The place was supposed to be a resort, but I have to say, it was more like camping in really old cabins. Except that the cabins were stacked up one on top of the other into a really tall, really old building. I have to say, I've never camped in a building before.

I saw all my friends from my orientation group, whom around here grow to be your family, and I met some great new people. This retreat was exactly what I needed in my life. Did I need the horrible food or the oppressing humidity or the late nights and early mornings? No, not really, but I needed to talk to someone outside of my daily circle. On TV shows and movies, there's always a character who's life is their work and work their life. I always wondered how it got to the point where your work is it, it is your life. Now I understand. You socialize with the same people, you bring your work home with you (literally) and your whole life revolves around the same people day in and day out. I didn't understand the toll this was taking on my mental sanity until I got to camp this weekend and was able to talk to other foreigners. It was literally like someone had reached down into my soul and lifted this huge weight that had gradually been pressing me down. I realize why people say variety is the spice of life. It is also something I'll have to consider for the future when I'm thinking of what I want to do with my life.

Koreans eat rice, kimchee and soup for breakfast EVERYDAY. This is also what they served for breakfast at camp EVERYDAY. The food less than substandard, but the company was great. In talking to other people, I was able to see just how much I've changed from living in a foreign country and relying only on God for everything. I been practicing holding my tongue even when I feel there's something I really want to say. I've learned that unless people ask you, they really don't care. I've learned to be more assertive in what I need, want or believe in, regardless of the toes I step on. This by far has been the most challenging. I've learned that I used to be scandalous. Seriously so. I've since learned I don't like scandalous people and frankly, it's somewhat riddiculous. Outgoing, fun, lively and loud are things I don't mind to be, but I can never be scandalous ever again. It really just makes you look stupid and attention despreate. I learned that true beauty and intelligence is better highlighted in holding back than showing off. I've learned the secret to being the most popular boy's favorite girl. Not by being the sexiest or funniest or skinniest, but simply by showing that you care. I am a complicated person with emotions, opinions and philisophical ideas, but not everyone cares. I'm just looking to find those who care enough to pay attention. If they don't, maybe that's their loss.

Whew!! And I thought I was already mature...