A Difference of Opinion

Funny how certain things or actions can be considered taboo in my culture yet totally acceptable in my culture. I remember when I was child I was absolutely forbbiden to remove my shoes in the church sanctuary. Yet here in Korea, it is required to remove your shoes at the threshold of the building. When I was a child and my mother would tell me the story of Daniel's friends, they would always tell us "We do not bow to anyone but God." I understand that bowing is part of the culture here in Korea, and I don't mind doing it but I still feel so uncomfortable when someone does it to me. Another things that surprises me and I have trouble relating to is the meal habits. There is only one way to eat certain food and you can't change the way that food is eaten. You can't take stuff out or add stuff in that's not included in the original dish. When Koreans sit down to eat (shoeless of course), one must eat in silence and quickly. There is no chatting about your day or savoring the food slowly (you don't like it anyways, because they don't let you change it) because that would be considered rude.
Grandparents are to be respected at a distance, never lovingly playing or hugging because that would be inappropriate. The notion of beauty is different in this culture as well. Big eyes and curly hair are valued where even children and men get their hair permed. However, as a society of hard workers and students, things that can be considered outward adornments are considered a distraction and are therefore forbidden. As a result, high schoolers are not allowed to have perms, or pierce their ears or even have long hair. These are all things that can distract a student, so they are not allowed.

They should adapt these measures in the US, huh?

Changes...

This weekend was summer camp for the SDA Language Institute across South Korea. The place was supposed to be a resort, but I have to say, it was more like camping in really old cabins. Except that the cabins were stacked up one on top of the other into a really tall, really old building. I have to say, I've never camped in a building before.

I saw all my friends from my orientation group, whom around here grow to be your family, and I met some great new people. This retreat was exactly what I needed in my life. Did I need the horrible food or the oppressing humidity or the late nights and early mornings? No, not really, but I needed to talk to someone outside of my daily circle. On TV shows and movies, there's always a character who's life is their work and work their life. I always wondered how it got to the point where your work is it, it is your life. Now I understand. You socialize with the same people, you bring your work home with you (literally) and your whole life revolves around the same people day in and day out. I didn't understand the toll this was taking on my mental sanity until I got to camp this weekend and was able to talk to other foreigners. It was literally like someone had reached down into my soul and lifted this huge weight that had gradually been pressing me down. I realize why people say variety is the spice of life. It is also something I'll have to consider for the future when I'm thinking of what I want to do with my life.

Koreans eat rice, kimchee and soup for breakfast EVERYDAY. This is also what they served for breakfast at camp EVERYDAY. The food less than substandard, but the company was great. In talking to other people, I was able to see just how much I've changed from living in a foreign country and relying only on God for everything. I been practicing holding my tongue even when I feel there's something I really want to say. I've learned that unless people ask you, they really don't care. I've learned to be more assertive in what I need, want or believe in, regardless of the toes I step on. This by far has been the most challenging. I've learned that I used to be scandalous. Seriously so. I've since learned I don't like scandalous people and frankly, it's somewhat riddiculous. Outgoing, fun, lively and loud are things I don't mind to be, but I can never be scandalous ever again. It really just makes you look stupid and attention despreate. I learned that true beauty and intelligence is better highlighted in holding back than showing off. I've learned the secret to being the most popular boy's favorite girl. Not by being the sexiest or funniest or skinniest, but simply by showing that you care. I am a complicated person with emotions, opinions and philisophical ideas, but not everyone cares. I'm just looking to find those who care enough to pay attention. If they don't, maybe that's their loss.

Whew!! And I thought I was already mature...

Chopsticks. And not the Piano kind.

I am astonished and amazed at all the various uses for chopsticks and the things you can eat with them. To prove my point, I will now proceed to list the various foods or uses I have had or seen for chopsticks in Korea.
1. Eat rice with seaweed. I actually learned this with my American friends before I met any Koreans and had just arrived in Korea. You have to pick up the rice with the seaweed using the chopsticks in a very calculated way.

2. Feeding a baby. Who knew?

3. Eating spaghetti. When pasta was invented in Italy, I’m not sure what they used to eat it but I’m assuming it wasn’t chopsticks.

4. Eating cake. You really can’t just ask for a sliver.

5. Eating watermelon. In retrospect, this actually seems like a great idea. Just stab it and you’re good to go. However, it gives you second thoughts when the red juices run down your arms, making you feel like you’ve killed someone.

6. Making spaghetti. This was actually surprising and actually kinda difficult. In order to test the doneness of the pasta you actually have to fish it out with said utensils. Eating made spaghetti is also difficult and Kristina's least favorite chopstick food. I have found, however, there is a method to the madness.

7. Fried chicken. Yeah, I would have never imagined.

8. Separating pizza slices. Sort of what you’d use a table knife for.

9. Scrambled eggs. Yeah.

10. Pancakes. For this one I almost caved and used a spoon.

11. French fries. Why don’t you use your hands? I don’t know.

12. Holding your hair back as you wash dishes. Ok so this one is just me.

13. Splitting foods. Of course, in lieu of knives, which don’t exist in Korea.

14. Mixing food in a bowl. How do you accomplish this you may ask? Ahhh. Very carefully young grasshopper. Very carefully.

15. Picking the onions out of your food. Now this isn’t exclusive to chopsticks but it does offer an advantage over a fork because frankly, chopsticks are more precise. This has been most beneficial for me.

16. Steak. This one is difficult, but most of the time, steak and other big hunks of food come to Korean tables already chopstick friendly.

17. Pastries. Oddly, most of these in Korea are made of rice or barley.

18. Pizza!!! Believe it. It works

19. Ice Cream! Ok I’m kidding about this one. But I would not be surprised to find it to be true.

20. Doughnuts. This one is tried and true. My students brought me doughnuts and picked them out with chopsticks.
21. Brie and crackers. I didn’t have a knife so I did what any other Korean would have done. Improvised with chopsticks.

Anything you can do, I can do better...

People compliment me on my Korean pronunciation all the time. They say that Korean seems easier to me than to other missionaries. My secret? When I say something in Korean, I say it in Spanish. This is why my Korean turns out so good. I relate to the Koreans through my Spanish or Arabic culture, which I find helps me grow closer to them. There are other missionaries here, and they seem to have come to spread their culture and knowledge of the world. However, other than to teach them English and show them hope, I came more to learn from them. I want to know the inside of the Korean culture, the things you don't learn from a book. This why I pick up more Korean expressions and traditions than other missionaries. This is why they like to include me in their more intimate gatherings. If I've learned one thing about Koreans, it's that they're incredibly hard-workers, and unafraid of personal sacrifice to please, to impress, or to get ahead. This is why Korean women wear impossibly high heels, that may look beautiful but are painful. Once I saw a Korean woman's feet when she took off her heels. Her feet were red and calloused, and bruised. However, she will probably put her expensive heels back on and continue walking because it will give others a high opinion of her. This is why Koreans drink too much. They feel like they need to impress their boss, their friends, their family. Personal sacrifice is little to pay to gain the approval and admiration of everyone around them. This also plays in with the conformity of the Korean mind. They all have to strive to be better at the same thing. They would not dare to step out of the socially acceptable norm. To excel in something rare would be unthinkable. It is better to beat someone at the same thing everyone is doing. If a Korean man is going to get married to a beautiful woman, it has to be a beautiful Korean women. This is why foreigners rarely marry Koreans.

I've never been an extremely competitive person. Sometimes, being second or third or even last gets you to the same place as the first, just a bit later. Therefore, this cultural mindset is a bit strange to me. I keep encouraging my students that sometimes, it's ok to lose, or to be different if in the end, the prize is bigger. Even if they don't accept my words, I know they listen and one day will have to face a decision in their lives. I hope that on that day, they might remember me... The girl who couldn't conform to win.

Even Teachers Learn from Teaching

Funny how something so horrible and difficult can change when you take your time to change your attitude and thoughts.

I have a junior class at 5:40pm Monday through Thursday that I absolutely hated. The kids were rude and mean, they mocked and disobeyed me. I would come out of that classroom barely holding back the tears and praying that I wouldn't have to go back the next day. There were at least two boys in that class that were making my life a living hell. It didn't help that the Korean teacher would either ignore the kids making trouble or leave the classroom. I was miserable. Normally I'm really good with bad kids. However, the language and cultural barrier was throwing me way off.
Finally, one day the Korean teacher walked out almost as soon as I came in, leaving me with a classroom full of bad Korean kids. I looked down at my book and mumbled through the drills, trying to get through it as soon as possible. Then one of the kids, let's call him Lenny, started acting up. I snapped. I looked up at him and said "HEY. QUIT IT." He didn't understand what I said but he understood how I said it. He stayed still. The next day another one of the trouble makers; call him Max, wasn't putting effort into repetitions and adding endings to his words. I went and stood in front of his desk. I looked him in the eye and said, "If you add a single sound to the end of another English word, I will not hesitate to fail you." When he started to repeat the sentences, I realized what a smart kid he was and how well he spoke English.
I eventually realized that for a class so rebellious, regardless of culture I would have to revert back to my old tricks. And I did. In Korea, everyone, from the oldest person to the youngest child has their own cell phone. It's understood and expected to be that way. So I told this class that if they fail their next test I would have them call their parents and explain to said parent that they were calling because they had failed their English test because they were too lazy to study. My students understood I meant business. The next day, they all passed with 100%. It was the first time any of these kids had passed a test in this class.

Nowadays, this is my favorite class. They aren't better behaved. The Korean teacher still is no help. The textbook is still boring. But the kids know that I mean business but I can still joke around with them. They joke around with me about who's the worst behaved and who will be punished that day. Without their noticing it, their English is improving inspite of and maybe because of their behavior. I would love to take credit for this amazing change in situation and learning. But I really can't. God had to work on my heart and patience and teach me a lesson in understanding. I'm always complaining that no one understands me, but now I realize that no one is going to bother understanding me if I don't try to understand others first. Harsh lesson, God. Harsh lesson.

I Sound Like I Know What I'm Talking About, Don't I?

Today my students took me out for a very expensive lunch and then traditional Korean tea afterwards. Over lunch they asked me why I had come to Korea. I really didn't think before answering and I found myself saying, "God sent me here." As I thought about it, I realize that it really was God leading me here for some reason. I shared with them some of my experiences from my first time in Korea and how scared and alone I felt. I know it takes alot of courage to go to a foreign land where you don't understand the language or even recognize the alaphabet. However, I had none. Nothing. Zip. Nada. Courage was not something I felt as I said goodbye to my family, or as I boarded the plane. Courage was not what I felt as I landed in Japan and made my flight connection. Courage was not in my mind when I walked out the airport doors dragging two suitcases with what was basically my life support for the next year behind me to find a stranger in the night rain. Courage maybe has not even caught up to me yet. Somedays that I'm here teaching, I realize, 'How am I doing this? I can't do this.' Maybe God is teaching for me. Maybe God is surviving through me and I'm a casual observer. So when I tell my class God sent me here, I'm seriously not kidding. Not only did He send me here, He's here with me.

Until I lived in Korea, I had never...

1. Considered a pet octopus
2. Eaten a cake with chopsticks
3. Taken off my shoes before entering a restaurant
4. Tried seasame leaf. I didn't even know sesame had leaves.
5. Had rice and seaweed as a meal.
6. Hung out in a burnt down restaurant
7. Had cake for breakfast and cereal for dinner.
8. Taken off my shoes for a picnic.
9. Been to so many free concerts in such a short period of time.
10. Made my own yogurt.
11. Enuciated my words.
12. Been to a Buhuddist temple.
13. Become friends with someone who doesn't understand a single word I say.
14. Been so lost in my life.

And to think I Saw it in Gumi...

When I was a little girl, my mother used to read a Dr. Seuss book called, "And to Think I Saw it on Mulberry St." It was about a little boy who is walking home and he sees all these things on his walk home but at the end you find out that he was making them up.

Everyday on my walk to work or home, I see so many things I thought I'd share here some of those things. My building is located in a popular date district with nice restaurants, bars and a huge public parking lot in between two streets. I love it here. Every morning I walk down 8 flights of stairs and start out towards the institute. I pass a few restaurants, a daycare, some hair salons, a dry-cleaning store, more restaurants and a 7-11. With the exception of the 7-11, at 6:45am everything is closed and empty. I usually see people with bags cleaning the street with huge trash bags and pickers, or a dustpan and broom. I pass a small hair salon every morning and I'm amused to find that although it's closed the people who run it do not understand English and their sign is hanging in the window, "Open". It's closed. Trust me, I've checked. Then there's this old couple who ride a scooter. And everyday around quarter to 7 the old man drops off his old wife, whom I think works as a gypsy nim (cleaning lady). Every single morning without exception I see them across the street from the 7-11. Outside the 7-11 I usually see a business man or two, maybe a child waiting for the bus. But other than these aforementioned, the streets are quiet and empty. When I'm walking home around 9am, the street is beginning to wake up and stir. By 10am, the people come out in force. By 12 the restaurants are beginning to fill with shoes at the entrance. The dry cleaners have their clothes at the curbside ready for pickup and the pre-school is brimming over with screaming Korean children. Trash has been mostly picked up and the buses are annoyingly always on time. Right now until June 2nd, we have elections in the city of Gumi and man do those Koreans know how to advertise. There are floats with techno music going up and down the streets all day. The people on the float can be the candidates or just hired dancers who wear white gloves and bow and wave to everyone. I cannot tell you how many times my class has been interrupted by a candidate's float music. And when there's no election, the street vendors use the same method for advertising their products; driving down the street like an ice-cream truck with products instead of Yankee Doodle.

By nighttime, all the businessmen come out drinking or on dates. There is a street vendor selling packaged snacks and stunning flowers. So a guy can run by and pick up some roses even if he's late for his date. Then after the movie or a drink they can grab some snacks and head for a walk in the park. The lights at night are bright and romantic, if you have time for that sorta thing. But since I get up so early, I prefer the quietness of the morning to the busyness of the night.

And I promise you, this is all honest to God truth.

I Breathe Everyday, Just like You Do Halfway Across the World...

Somehow I always thought blogging from Korea would be a breeze. Just write what happens everyday, right? Well I'm beginning to realize it is somewhat more complicated than I had originally thought. First of all, alot of things happen in one day for me. I meet people, prepare for class, figure out what to eat, take naps, showers, brush my teeth, drink coffee, water, milk, etc etc. And frankly, I'm beginning to discover that living in a foreign strange country can have it's boring moments as well as interesting ones. Unfortunately for me, I'm not a Hollywood celebrity and not everyone cares that today I bought dish-washing soap. Sometimes I wish my life was like Sidney Bristow's, saving the world from a fiery death on a daily basis. However, when I think about that more, I realize that would be too stressful for everyday life. I always wondered what it would be like to have the same work friends be my weekend friends as well like on Alias, where the work dominates your entire life. Now I know. And to be honest, it is best compared to having soup everyday for dinner. It's good and satisfying, but not extraordinary everyday.

Sometimes I realize that wow, I'm in South Korea, arguably one of the most dangerous places in the world. And I'm alone. This is enough for a few chapters of the beginning of a book. But after a while, I realize I have to write a chapter on ordinary things like going up and down 8 flights of stairs at least five times a day, or crossing the street without looking and almost getting killed multiple times. Or trying to get my co-worker, a stubborn Korean who refuses to learn English, to crack his serious countenance with a smile or a laugh. Or learning my address in Korean. These are all things that may be funny or interesting at least once but then loose taste after a while. In end, my blog may not always tell of every moment of everyday, but after all, do you REALLY want to hear about how I washed my dishes before bed last night? Really??

Cooking Korean with my Friends

Sometimes I come to a sudden realization that I am living, by myself, in a foreign country where I don't know the language or culture. This is my first time being independent ever, and I'm doing it in a such an alien place to me. So far so good, I haven't completely run out of money yet or anything, but then again I have no one to tell me to remember to lock my door at night, or that if I don't buy groceries I won't be eating this week. Sometimes I wonder what it would be like to be independent in my own country but I realize this is what I have now, so I have to deal with it. I like it.

Today I learned a bit more about some of my students. One guy in my class is just a few years older than I but has been married for a year and is expecting his first child in a few months. Another one of the students is alot older, she's maybe in her 30's, and she lives by herself. She strikes me as being really lonely and I wish I could help her, but I'm not sure how. For now, all I can do is pray for her and open my home to her. Speaking of opening my home, God is paying me back for all those lonely moments I felt in the last few months. I prayed for companionship and friendship, and suddenly I remember why they say "be careful what you wish for". It brings to mind the verse of the Bible that says, "He will open the floodgates of heaven". There have been soooo many people here in my apartment this weekend. I feel as if it's been absolutely full all weekend long. I was actually surprised to be able to fall asleep last night at a reasonable hour. On Friday I had nine people here, on Saturday night, I had four, and Sunday, some students showed up to cook for me and brought all their friends: about 12 people from noon to 8pm. Think of my kitchen like, say, a shoebox. And that shoe box is inside an apartment the size of a closet. Now add 12 people. It was mad full.
These things maybe stressful to some, but for me they bring me joy. I'm realizing that I enjoy being alone because it's something that I was forced to learn, however, I love to have people around me at all times.

I must be a very social person.

Why be Yourself, When You Can be Like Me?

This weekend was my one week anniversary of living in here in Gumi. It was a great weekend. Friday was busy running around to get everything ready to feed friends on Saturday night in my tiny apartment with a tiny kitchen. It came out really great. We had burritos and deviled eggs, and played games. There were about 15 people all crowded into my apartment. We played games and ate food and listened to music.

Today Sunday, I accompanied Kristina for an outing that required a buffer.It turned out quite well, we passed through a beautiful park which I proceeded to take some great and silly pictures. After this we discovered the most acute and direct torture tailored especially to Joanna. We went to the public library at Gumi. There were thousands upon thousands of books, yet I could not read a single one. It was like being Superman without powers. I have the cape, yet I cannot fly.

In the afternoon, Lynn, Ann, Kristina and I went out for some dinner and coffee. It was great because I got to learn alot more about Korean culture. We talked about weddings and a single girl's livelihood. The respect for the in-laws is key in this culture. The way they described it to me reminded me Lane's wedding in Gilmore Girls. Good Korean girls do not leave their homes until they are married.

Also in Korean culture uniformity and conformation is essential. The Korean culture is like one big family. Girls and boys refer to each other as sister and brother. Every elder is respected like a grandparent and having someone older than you scold you on the street is not so unfamiliar. Respect and following the others is so important. That is why becoming Adventist is so difficult because there is so much one breaks away from in accepting the message. When you are Korean, you are expected to be Korean. When you are a foreigner you are respected as a foreigner. Everything is forgiven when you are a foreigner. But a Korean is not forgiven for breaking the norm. It is so distinct from American culture where individuality is prized and encouraged.

Be yourself. Not so much in Korea.

More than a Number...

In Korea, I noticed people usually look and seem younger than what they actually are. Then I realized that it's because they calculate their age differently than in the US where most people look older than they are. For Koreans, they begin counting their age when they are conceived so when they are born, they are automatically 1 year old. Then, their birthday is calculated by the lunar calender so it falls on a different date each year. While this is all very confusing to me, I have been told that in Korea, I am 24 years of age.

Because of Children's Day today, classes were canceled and everyone has the day off. As a treat for us foreign teachers, Pastor Ryu took us to Costco about 40 mins away. Coming with us was Lynn, Kristina's Korean roommate and the Pastor's wife and daughter. His daughter looks like a tiny delicate porcelain doll. And sooo well behaved. During the whole ride, she sat still and sang to herself. When I first met her in class, before I knew she was the Pastor's daughter, I thought she was about 3 years old and thought it weird that she was in such an advanced English class. However, she's 5 and reads English better than most American 5 year olds.

The scenery here on the interstate (or I guess the highways would be a better term) looks just like the East Coast at home. There's greenery and mountains and exit signs. The only difference is that EVERYTHING is in Korean. Even the instructions painted on the lanes. Costco was a few floors tall, and backwards than what I'm used to. The parking is on the upper most levels, the main food and electronic level is one level underground, and the housewares and clothing was on the lowest level. There are electronic ramps, like if you took electric stairs and flattened them out, so you can take your cart with you to each level. Lynn was with us for a while but then we all split up and Kristina and I went off by ourselves. Kristina noticed that alot of Koreans were curious to see what two obviously foreign girls were buying and stared at the products in our carts.

This afternoon, one of our Korean co-workers is taking us (K and me) downtown for the Children's day festivities, so maybe I get a chance to take some pictures of Gumi.

I'll tell you what I told my classes yesterday-- Go find a child to play with!!!

Watching Friends in Gumi

Having my own apartment in Gumi, South Korea is like playing house on a large scale by myself. The people here are very nice and helpful, even with a klutz like me.

I arrived Sunday with Kristina which was fortunate because we became friends during orientation. The bus ride was three hours long to the minute. Apparently, punctuality is extremely important. The bus was to leave Seoul at 10:05am. We said goodbye to Leo and Aaron and boarded around 10:00. I was surprised to feel the bus begin to move at 10:05 on the second. We arrived in the sweltering heat to Gumi, S. Korea.

Gumi is nothing like Seoul. It's smaller, cleaner and brighter. The streets are clean and there are hills surrounding the town. Oddly, the mix of underdevelopment and high tech is evident here as well. There are trash bags on the street everyday waiting to be picked up and a few stores and houses look shabby. However, behind my school there is a huge Samsung tv billboard. Printed billboards aren't good enough for Koreans. They have state of the art water purifiers instead of water fountains, but they don't use ovens. Their washing machines would make Rosie the Robot green with envy, however, they don't use dryers. Go figure. In all, Gumi is a lovely city. It's small and homey, but modernity is all around you.

My apartment is actually really nice. It's pretty big as far as Korean apartments go. And everyone who visits is jealous of my couch. My kitchen is tiny, but my room and living room are huge.

In the time I've been here, I have climbed enough stairs to reach heaven. As well as billboards, Koreans don't believe in elevators. For them the number 4 is bad luck, as in China and Japan, so there's no 4th floor. My apartment number is 501 but it's on the fourth floor. Kristina's apartment is on the third floor of her building. Giovanni and Aby's apartment is on the second floor of my building. In Napoleon's famous words...

Luckyyyy.

Today is Sabbath and I have never been so happy for a day of rest. It's been about 4 or 5 days (depending on who's time you're using) since I've arrived in Seoul, and everyday I find out just how much there is to learn. This world is different from any other I've ever seen.

Let me start at the beginning. The entire trip, from doorstep to doorstep took about 18 1/2 hours. That doesn't include standing around and waiting time. When I got off the plane in Incheon (the main Korean airport) I was walking along with my carry-on and I literally fell asleep standing up. It must have been a few seconds because I began to dream and suddenly woke up. There was a Korean man waiting for me to drive me to the apartment where I would be staying. He didn't speak a single world of English other than hello. It was nighttime and raining when I arrived and in my half-state of consciousness I watched the lights and limited scenery go by. My first impression of Korea was glum. I remember thinking all I saw was bright light, bridges and Hyundai's. The van finally came to a stop and the nice (stone silent) Korean man opened a door that revealed a flight of stairs. One flight became two and then three. By the fourth I found myself wishing that I had packed less than 50 lbs maximum. He opened the door to the apartment room and the first thing I realized was that there were notes everywhere. How to turn on the heat, how to turn on the A/C, where the keys were, where the bathrooms were, etc, etc. I was utterly exhausted, and the last thing I noticed was that someone would be by to pick me up at 8 the next day. My final thought before going to sleep was that someone told me I had a roommate, but if I did she was the neatest person in the world because I didn't see any of her stuff.

The next day someone did come pick me up. From then on, things went more smoothly, with training and meeting the other foreigners. I was surprised to find out that Korea is relatively safe for foreigners to travel around. This is of course comes as a big difference from places like central Africa or South America. The Koreans are extremely polite and well-mannered. They are punctual and generous, AMAZING dressers and respectful. Girls and guys alike look like they belong on a magazine cover. The women do everything in the most beautiful heels you've ever seen. This is probably the first place I've ever seen men using the same bags as women. At night, the cities is drenched in bright and colorful lights. Everything seems to be a mix of high tech and poverty. From the mile walk from my apartment to the training center, near the metro tracks, there's a section of shanties made of scrap wood, glass and tiles. However, the importance of appearances is so great that the person who lives there may pass you on the street, dressed like everyone else and you would never know. Society is very friendly. Among themselves, they refer to each other as brother and sister. The women hold hands as they prance down the street. Men look more like girls than men. More tomorrow...