Changes...

This weekend was summer camp for the SDA Language Institute across South Korea. The place was supposed to be a resort, but I have to say, it was more like camping in really old cabins. Except that the cabins were stacked up one on top of the other into a really tall, really old building. I have to say, I've never camped in a building before.

I saw all my friends from my orientation group, whom around here grow to be your family, and I met some great new people. This retreat was exactly what I needed in my life. Did I need the horrible food or the oppressing humidity or the late nights and early mornings? No, not really, but I needed to talk to someone outside of my daily circle. On TV shows and movies, there's always a character who's life is their work and work their life. I always wondered how it got to the point where your work is it, it is your life. Now I understand. You socialize with the same people, you bring your work home with you (literally) and your whole life revolves around the same people day in and day out. I didn't understand the toll this was taking on my mental sanity until I got to camp this weekend and was able to talk to other foreigners. It was literally like someone had reached down into my soul and lifted this huge weight that had gradually been pressing me down. I realize why people say variety is the spice of life. It is also something I'll have to consider for the future when I'm thinking of what I want to do with my life.

Koreans eat rice, kimchee and soup for breakfast EVERYDAY. This is also what they served for breakfast at camp EVERYDAY. The food less than substandard, but the company was great. In talking to other people, I was able to see just how much I've changed from living in a foreign country and relying only on God for everything. I been practicing holding my tongue even when I feel there's something I really want to say. I've learned that unless people ask you, they really don't care. I've learned to be more assertive in what I need, want or believe in, regardless of the toes I step on. This by far has been the most challenging. I've learned that I used to be scandalous. Seriously so. I've since learned I don't like scandalous people and frankly, it's somewhat riddiculous. Outgoing, fun, lively and loud are things I don't mind to be, but I can never be scandalous ever again. It really just makes you look stupid and attention despreate. I learned that true beauty and intelligence is better highlighted in holding back than showing off. I've learned the secret to being the most popular boy's favorite girl. Not by being the sexiest or funniest or skinniest, but simply by showing that you care. I am a complicated person with emotions, opinions and philisophical ideas, but not everyone cares. I'm just looking to find those who care enough to pay attention. If they don't, maybe that's their loss.

Whew!! And I thought I was already mature...

Chopsticks. And not the Piano kind.

I am astonished and amazed at all the various uses for chopsticks and the things you can eat with them. To prove my point, I will now proceed to list the various foods or uses I have had or seen for chopsticks in Korea.
1. Eat rice with seaweed. I actually learned this with my American friends before I met any Koreans and had just arrived in Korea. You have to pick up the rice with the seaweed using the chopsticks in a very calculated way.

2. Feeding a baby. Who knew?

3. Eating spaghetti. When pasta was invented in Italy, I’m not sure what they used to eat it but I’m assuming it wasn’t chopsticks.

4. Eating cake. You really can’t just ask for a sliver.

5. Eating watermelon. In retrospect, this actually seems like a great idea. Just stab it and you’re good to go. However, it gives you second thoughts when the red juices run down your arms, making you feel like you’ve killed someone.

6. Making spaghetti. This was actually surprising and actually kinda difficult. In order to test the doneness of the pasta you actually have to fish it out with said utensils. Eating made spaghetti is also difficult and Kristina's least favorite chopstick food. I have found, however, there is a method to the madness.

7. Fried chicken. Yeah, I would have never imagined.

8. Separating pizza slices. Sort of what you’d use a table knife for.

9. Scrambled eggs. Yeah.

10. Pancakes. For this one I almost caved and used a spoon.

11. French fries. Why don’t you use your hands? I don’t know.

12. Holding your hair back as you wash dishes. Ok so this one is just me.

13. Splitting foods. Of course, in lieu of knives, which don’t exist in Korea.

14. Mixing food in a bowl. How do you accomplish this you may ask? Ahhh. Very carefully young grasshopper. Very carefully.

15. Picking the onions out of your food. Now this isn’t exclusive to chopsticks but it does offer an advantage over a fork because frankly, chopsticks are more precise. This has been most beneficial for me.

16. Steak. This one is difficult, but most of the time, steak and other big hunks of food come to Korean tables already chopstick friendly.

17. Pastries. Oddly, most of these in Korea are made of rice or barley.

18. Pizza!!! Believe it. It works

19. Ice Cream! Ok I’m kidding about this one. But I would not be surprised to find it to be true.

20. Doughnuts. This one is tried and true. My students brought me doughnuts and picked them out with chopsticks.
21. Brie and crackers. I didn’t have a knife so I did what any other Korean would have done. Improvised with chopsticks.

Anything you can do, I can do better...

People compliment me on my Korean pronunciation all the time. They say that Korean seems easier to me than to other missionaries. My secret? When I say something in Korean, I say it in Spanish. This is why my Korean turns out so good. I relate to the Koreans through my Spanish or Arabic culture, which I find helps me grow closer to them. There are other missionaries here, and they seem to have come to spread their culture and knowledge of the world. However, other than to teach them English and show them hope, I came more to learn from them. I want to know the inside of the Korean culture, the things you don't learn from a book. This why I pick up more Korean expressions and traditions than other missionaries. This is why they like to include me in their more intimate gatherings. If I've learned one thing about Koreans, it's that they're incredibly hard-workers, and unafraid of personal sacrifice to please, to impress, or to get ahead. This is why Korean women wear impossibly high heels, that may look beautiful but are painful. Once I saw a Korean woman's feet when she took off her heels. Her feet were red and calloused, and bruised. However, she will probably put her expensive heels back on and continue walking because it will give others a high opinion of her. This is why Koreans drink too much. They feel like they need to impress their boss, their friends, their family. Personal sacrifice is little to pay to gain the approval and admiration of everyone around them. This also plays in with the conformity of the Korean mind. They all have to strive to be better at the same thing. They would not dare to step out of the socially acceptable norm. To excel in something rare would be unthinkable. It is better to beat someone at the same thing everyone is doing. If a Korean man is going to get married to a beautiful woman, it has to be a beautiful Korean women. This is why foreigners rarely marry Koreans.

I've never been an extremely competitive person. Sometimes, being second or third or even last gets you to the same place as the first, just a bit later. Therefore, this cultural mindset is a bit strange to me. I keep encouraging my students that sometimes, it's ok to lose, or to be different if in the end, the prize is bigger. Even if they don't accept my words, I know they listen and one day will have to face a decision in their lives. I hope that on that day, they might remember me... The girl who couldn't conform to win.

Even Teachers Learn from Teaching

Funny how something so horrible and difficult can change when you take your time to change your attitude and thoughts.

I have a junior class at 5:40pm Monday through Thursday that I absolutely hated. The kids were rude and mean, they mocked and disobeyed me. I would come out of that classroom barely holding back the tears and praying that I wouldn't have to go back the next day. There were at least two boys in that class that were making my life a living hell. It didn't help that the Korean teacher would either ignore the kids making trouble or leave the classroom. I was miserable. Normally I'm really good with bad kids. However, the language and cultural barrier was throwing me way off.
Finally, one day the Korean teacher walked out almost as soon as I came in, leaving me with a classroom full of bad Korean kids. I looked down at my book and mumbled through the drills, trying to get through it as soon as possible. Then one of the kids, let's call him Lenny, started acting up. I snapped. I looked up at him and said "HEY. QUIT IT." He didn't understand what I said but he understood how I said it. He stayed still. The next day another one of the trouble makers; call him Max, wasn't putting effort into repetitions and adding endings to his words. I went and stood in front of his desk. I looked him in the eye and said, "If you add a single sound to the end of another English word, I will not hesitate to fail you." When he started to repeat the sentences, I realized what a smart kid he was and how well he spoke English.
I eventually realized that for a class so rebellious, regardless of culture I would have to revert back to my old tricks. And I did. In Korea, everyone, from the oldest person to the youngest child has their own cell phone. It's understood and expected to be that way. So I told this class that if they fail their next test I would have them call their parents and explain to said parent that they were calling because they had failed their English test because they were too lazy to study. My students understood I meant business. The next day, they all passed with 100%. It was the first time any of these kids had passed a test in this class.

Nowadays, this is my favorite class. They aren't better behaved. The Korean teacher still is no help. The textbook is still boring. But the kids know that I mean business but I can still joke around with them. They joke around with me about who's the worst behaved and who will be punished that day. Without their noticing it, their English is improving inspite of and maybe because of their behavior. I would love to take credit for this amazing change in situation and learning. But I really can't. God had to work on my heart and patience and teach me a lesson in understanding. I'm always complaining that no one understands me, but now I realize that no one is going to bother understanding me if I don't try to understand others first. Harsh lesson, God. Harsh lesson.

I Sound Like I Know What I'm Talking About, Don't I?

Today my students took me out for a very expensive lunch and then traditional Korean tea afterwards. Over lunch they asked me why I had come to Korea. I really didn't think before answering and I found myself saying, "God sent me here." As I thought about it, I realize that it really was God leading me here for some reason. I shared with them some of my experiences from my first time in Korea and how scared and alone I felt. I know it takes alot of courage to go to a foreign land where you don't understand the language or even recognize the alaphabet. However, I had none. Nothing. Zip. Nada. Courage was not something I felt as I said goodbye to my family, or as I boarded the plane. Courage was not what I felt as I landed in Japan and made my flight connection. Courage was not in my mind when I walked out the airport doors dragging two suitcases with what was basically my life support for the next year behind me to find a stranger in the night rain. Courage maybe has not even caught up to me yet. Somedays that I'm here teaching, I realize, 'How am I doing this? I can't do this.' Maybe God is teaching for me. Maybe God is surviving through me and I'm a casual observer. So when I tell my class God sent me here, I'm seriously not kidding. Not only did He send me here, He's here with me.

Until I lived in Korea, I had never...

1. Considered a pet octopus
2. Eaten a cake with chopsticks
3. Taken off my shoes before entering a restaurant
4. Tried seasame leaf. I didn't even know sesame had leaves.
5. Had rice and seaweed as a meal.
6. Hung out in a burnt down restaurant
7. Had cake for breakfast and cereal for dinner.
8. Taken off my shoes for a picnic.
9. Been to so many free concerts in such a short period of time.
10. Made my own yogurt.
11. Enuciated my words.
12. Been to a Buhuddist temple.
13. Become friends with someone who doesn't understand a single word I say.
14. Been so lost in my life.

And to think I Saw it in Gumi...

When I was a little girl, my mother used to read a Dr. Seuss book called, "And to Think I Saw it on Mulberry St." It was about a little boy who is walking home and he sees all these things on his walk home but at the end you find out that he was making them up.

Everyday on my walk to work or home, I see so many things I thought I'd share here some of those things. My building is located in a popular date district with nice restaurants, bars and a huge public parking lot in between two streets. I love it here. Every morning I walk down 8 flights of stairs and start out towards the institute. I pass a few restaurants, a daycare, some hair salons, a dry-cleaning store, more restaurants and a 7-11. With the exception of the 7-11, at 6:45am everything is closed and empty. I usually see people with bags cleaning the street with huge trash bags and pickers, or a dustpan and broom. I pass a small hair salon every morning and I'm amused to find that although it's closed the people who run it do not understand English and their sign is hanging in the window, "Open". It's closed. Trust me, I've checked. Then there's this old couple who ride a scooter. And everyday around quarter to 7 the old man drops off his old wife, whom I think works as a gypsy nim (cleaning lady). Every single morning without exception I see them across the street from the 7-11. Outside the 7-11 I usually see a business man or two, maybe a child waiting for the bus. But other than these aforementioned, the streets are quiet and empty. When I'm walking home around 9am, the street is beginning to wake up and stir. By 10am, the people come out in force. By 12 the restaurants are beginning to fill with shoes at the entrance. The dry cleaners have their clothes at the curbside ready for pickup and the pre-school is brimming over with screaming Korean children. Trash has been mostly picked up and the buses are annoyingly always on time. Right now until June 2nd, we have elections in the city of Gumi and man do those Koreans know how to advertise. There are floats with techno music going up and down the streets all day. The people on the float can be the candidates or just hired dancers who wear white gloves and bow and wave to everyone. I cannot tell you how many times my class has been interrupted by a candidate's float music. And when there's no election, the street vendors use the same method for advertising their products; driving down the street like an ice-cream truck with products instead of Yankee Doodle.

By nighttime, all the businessmen come out drinking or on dates. There is a street vendor selling packaged snacks and stunning flowers. So a guy can run by and pick up some roses even if he's late for his date. Then after the movie or a drink they can grab some snacks and head for a walk in the park. The lights at night are bright and romantic, if you have time for that sorta thing. But since I get up so early, I prefer the quietness of the morning to the busyness of the night.

And I promise you, this is all honest to God truth.